I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
