Christians are straight up FREAKS
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He felt like a one man threesome
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
