I wanna bring you to show and tell
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
