I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you traded sex for a burrito?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
