This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
