yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
