Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
