Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
