drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
my being single is dangerous.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
