Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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