if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
