At least make sure they are 18
Why
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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