I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
