walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
