seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
