U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
