it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
