Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
cat food counts as protein by the way
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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