when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
