well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
