billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
