It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
