Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
