She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
