Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
