She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The adults are the big ones right?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
