It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
