You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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