I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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