um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
