it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
