I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
