I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
