Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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