thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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