Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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