Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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