You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize