So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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