At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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