Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If that was your dad, he is hot
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
