3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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