He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
