Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
