So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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