Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
