he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
