She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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