Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
