I want to walk on stilts...naked
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Still dying that you shit outside
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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