If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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