tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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