You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
and you fell through a lawn chair
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
