HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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