Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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