just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
