He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
