is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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