did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
grandma shit on top of the toilet
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
