booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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