I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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