3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
