Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
