We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
