I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I wear drunk well.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
